Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
