I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I could make wine with my vomit
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
