I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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