Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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