well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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