I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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