no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
