Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
