I can text with my tongue
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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