Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
