i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
