My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
