Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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