I faked an abortion last night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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