dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
