Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
