If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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