Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
