he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
