Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
