Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
