Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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