i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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