He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
