We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
