Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
