$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
