he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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