I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
