I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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