How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
