I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize