he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
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