I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
