Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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