PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
