Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
