there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
