i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the condom got lost in my hair
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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