We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
