doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
