Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
