What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
