Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's shark week go big or go home
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
