i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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