Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
