the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
