he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
