Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
