Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
