Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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