Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
