in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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