So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
