And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
its liver damage thursday
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
