you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
